I don't know about you but I know how to hold a grudge.
Trusting people is not something that comes easily to me and if you break that trust, that's usually it-friendship over forever because I have a hard time forgiving people. I had a "friend" in middle school with whom I got into a fight with and I did not forgive for over five years. We didn't talk anymore, we almost never saw each other and yet I sill held that grudge. I got angry when I saw her, I was bitter seeing her with her new best friend, and I had the hardest time letting go. This person didn't know I held a grudge, it was something that internally ate away at me and only me. In high school, I had a "friend" with whom I got into a fight with as well and it took me two years to forgive her. I eventually ended up forgiving these two people. Not because they apologized, not because they cared, but because I learned of God and how even after all we have done to dishonor Him and sin against Him, He made an amazing sacrifice for us. I learned that we must forgive others because He first forgave us. Now, in my senior year of college, there is yet another person with whom I have been hurt by that I have realized I am holding a grudge against. I am actively working to let go of this grudge and be at peace with what looks like the end of the friendship, but it is so hard. It's hard when you feel that you deserve an apology and never get one. It's hard when you hear some of the things that they have told other people about you. It's hard to let your walls down and forgive that person. Forgiveness is NOT something that comes easily to me but as time has gone, I have gotten better (and quicker) at it.
What's my secret to getting better at forgiveness?
God. In the Lord's prayer, there is a verse that says "and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." -Matthew 6:12. After the Lord's prayer is a set of equally beautiful and convicting verses. "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15
Powerful words, right?
We are supposed to ask God when we pray for Him to forgive us our sins as we forgive when sinned against, but if we don't forgive when sinned against, how do we expect Him to forgive us again and again?
Think of someone who you feel has wronged you in the past, someone for whom you have held a grudge. Remember how hard it was to work through those feelings and get to a place of peace? Imagine that feeling multiplied by billions. THAT is how God feels when we sin, when we go against Him. Each and every one of the billions of people who have been/are/will be on earth have sinned against Him multiple times and that feeling that we have when someone has sinned against us is NOTHING compared to how He feels. Yet, He gave His son to cover our sins. Can you imagine allowing your child to be crucified to help save that person who wronged you?
Forgiveness is not saying that what has happened is okay. It's saying that what has happened is not okay but that I am not defined by this situation, that I am better than bitterness. Sometimes, forgiveness is necessary to stop the hurt. Holding a grudge can oftentimes be more detrimental to you than even whatever hurt you in the first place. For me, it is saying "okay God, I know I need to forgive this person but it is so hard. I cannot do this alone."
Forgiveness is showing Christ's love to all. As I work to forgive this person, I am constantly reminded of how merciful God is towards us and I am amazed at His love and when I reach the stage of actually forgiving this person, that will ultimately be me showing this person Christ's love and maybe, just maybe, it will bring them close to Christ.
In the end, everything we do on earth is meant to glorify the One who created it and take it from me, it is really hard to work to glorify Him when you are bitter and unforgiving.
Trusting people is not something that comes easily to me and if you break that trust, that's usually it-friendship over forever because I have a hard time forgiving people. I had a "friend" in middle school with whom I got into a fight with and I did not forgive for over five years. We didn't talk anymore, we almost never saw each other and yet I sill held that grudge. I got angry when I saw her, I was bitter seeing her with her new best friend, and I had the hardest time letting go. This person didn't know I held a grudge, it was something that internally ate away at me and only me. In high school, I had a "friend" with whom I got into a fight with as well and it took me two years to forgive her. I eventually ended up forgiving these two people. Not because they apologized, not because they cared, but because I learned of God and how even after all we have done to dishonor Him and sin against Him, He made an amazing sacrifice for us. I learned that we must forgive others because He first forgave us. Now, in my senior year of college, there is yet another person with whom I have been hurt by that I have realized I am holding a grudge against. I am actively working to let go of this grudge and be at peace with what looks like the end of the friendship, but it is so hard. It's hard when you feel that you deserve an apology and never get one. It's hard when you hear some of the things that they have told other people about you. It's hard to let your walls down and forgive that person. Forgiveness is NOT something that comes easily to me but as time has gone, I have gotten better (and quicker) at it.
What's my secret to getting better at forgiveness?
God. In the Lord's prayer, there is a verse that says "and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." -Matthew 6:12. After the Lord's prayer is a set of equally beautiful and convicting verses. "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15
Powerful words, right?
We are supposed to ask God when we pray for Him to forgive us our sins as we forgive when sinned against, but if we don't forgive when sinned against, how do we expect Him to forgive us again and again?
Think of someone who you feel has wronged you in the past, someone for whom you have held a grudge. Remember how hard it was to work through those feelings and get to a place of peace? Imagine that feeling multiplied by billions. THAT is how God feels when we sin, when we go against Him. Each and every one of the billions of people who have been/are/will be on earth have sinned against Him multiple times and that feeling that we have when someone has sinned against us is NOTHING compared to how He feels. Yet, He gave His son to cover our sins. Can you imagine allowing your child to be crucified to help save that person who wronged you?
Forgiveness is not saying that what has happened is okay. It's saying that what has happened is not okay but that I am not defined by this situation, that I am better than bitterness. Sometimes, forgiveness is necessary to stop the hurt. Holding a grudge can oftentimes be more detrimental to you than even whatever hurt you in the first place. For me, it is saying "okay God, I know I need to forgive this person but it is so hard. I cannot do this alone."
Forgiveness is showing Christ's love to all. As I work to forgive this person, I am constantly reminded of how merciful God is towards us and I am amazed at His love and when I reach the stage of actually forgiving this person, that will ultimately be me showing this person Christ's love and maybe, just maybe, it will bring them close to Christ.
In the end, everything we do on earth is meant to glorify the One who created it and take it from me, it is really hard to work to glorify Him when you are bitter and unforgiving.